Normally I write much longer notes when I post something new, but “Love You to 10” was my wife’s brainchild: I just acted as accompanist and producer. This, it turns out, is what happens when a math/ computer nerd writes a love song. Enjoy the lyrics…they’re virtually incomprehensible unless you, too, are a big dork.

The song is an extraordinarily Spartan recording compared to my recent standards. With all the virtual instruments at my disposal, it was an act of sheer will to leave it simple, mournful, and uncomplicated. I’m glad I managed to restrain myself, as the results are—I think you’ll agree—pretty cool.

Love You to Ten
Words and music by Angela Hall
Performed by Angela Hall (vocals, guitar) and Mike Hall (bass, keyboards)

If I am an entity than you are an instance
If I am an int array then you are an int
If you are a primitive than I am your object
I encapsulate your properties and you exist within
What I’m trying to say is that there’s no way to quantify it
But your distance has an inverse relationship
With the rate of my heartbeat, adrenaline, hormones
Perspiration, pheromones, and serotonin

I screwed this up, this wasn’t the way to begin
What I’m trying to say is I love you to 10

I don’t believe in a soul but I have distinct patterns of thinking
Unique to this physiology that concentrate
My attention and my interest to your unique patterns of speaking
And I think that approximates the definition of soulmate

I screwed this up, this wasn’t the way to begin
What I’m trying to say is I love you to 10

You see there is no formula, no quadratic equation
No algorithm, no matrix set of observation
So how can I calculate with any precision
My endocrine reaction, my level of elation
But if love is a normal curve in a dispersed population
Then we are the outliers beyond three standard deviations
If love is a function and you are left of the equal sign
Then I’ll try every integer until yours equals mine

I screwed this up, this wasn’t the way to begin
What I’m trying to say is I love you to 10

Copyright©2008, Mike and Angela Hall. All rights reserved.

I've been a fan of this particular Black Sabbath song (originally released in 1970 on the album Paranoid) since I was a kid, but for one reason or another, I was never able to convince any of my bandmates to cover it. Enter the Digital Age: an era in which a musician armed with enough enthusiasm and equipment can be his own damn band if he has to...

When pressed to name my favorite band, I generally cite the almighty Sabbath as my go-to guys. I've been working on this arrangement for weeks, hoping to do justice to the song. Here's hoping that--even though my version sounds vastly different--it's a fitting tribute to the original. With my extended intro, this bad boy clocks in at just shy of six minutes, which is twice as long as most of my original material. Make of that what you will.

No lyrics this time out...sorry. Licensing restrictions.

Arrangement and recording Copyright 2008, Mike Hall. Original song by Black Sabbath (Osbourne/Iommi/Butler/Ward).

Well, it certainly took long enough to get this song finished! I wrote this one ages ago, and even posted a rough mix of the song when it was still a work-in-progress (I’ve left it up for its value as a curiosity). Originally my wife Angela was supposed to sing this track, and as such, she wrote the lyrics. Unfortunately, the vocal line she wrote was just a hair beyond her comfortable range, but by the time we realized it wasn’t going to work, we were both too attached to the lyrics and vocal melody to let go of either one…so I ended up singing the song.

I’m really, really sorry.

In the notes I posted previously, I complained that I didn’t think the in-progress version of this song didn’t hearken back to the ‘70s as much as I’d hoped, but this re-recorded version does a better job of fitting the bill. I slapped some Hammond B3 in there for that fat Jon Lord sound (I don’t actually own a B3…I used a really nice software suite to emulate one), and lo and behold, the song got a little more ‘70s. Apart from the vocals, I am pleased.

Lyrically, well, it’s pretty obvious what this one is about: the centuries-long war between history’s great men of reason and that monolithic enemy of rational thought we call “organized religion.” Some year, I might record a rock-n-roll song about something mundane, average, and/or pedestrian, but I wouldn’t recommend holding your breath while waiting for that to happen...

COPERNICUS
Written and performed by Mike Hall
Lyrics by Angela Hall

In Ptolemaic theory did the Church invest its trust
He wrote the Almajest and said the universe revolved around us
His theories buttressed small-minded hypocrites and dogma
For fourteen-hundred years because the math worked

What shall we do about Copernicus
His heresy will damn all the rest of us

Galileo’s acting like a radical seditionist
Look at what’s become of this otherwise gifted physicist
Here he says that we’re all spinning ‘round in space
The Devil’s work, I can see it in his evil face

What shall we do about Copernicus
His heresy will damn all the rest of us

Rome will not allow this heresy
No challenge to papal authority
We must control every word you speak
We will control every thought you think

What shall we do about Copernicus
His heresy will damn all the rest of us

Words and music Copyright©2008, Mike and Angela Hall. All rights reserved; no unauthorized use is permitted.

In possibly the strangest thing to happen since the Great Molasses Flood of 1919 (go ahead…look it up!), I have recorded—wait for it—a Southern rock song. Without, of course, actually being Southern. In fact, it would be fair to call “The Least of Your Worries” a country-rock song, as the root guitar line is very much played in a Western open-chord style. However, there are parts of the song that are far heavier than anything that’s yet been done in the country genre. I will freely admit, though, that old-school C&W (and by “old school,” I mean pre-1960s) was a major inspiration on this tune. Anyone remember that rock history textbook I got to talking about several songs/posts ago? It dedicates quite a bit of space to analyzing the common roots of some branches of C&W and other branches of rock, and the idea of attempting to reconnect the two intrigued me. The result: well, this song. Duh, people.

Lyrically, “The Least of Your Worries” is raw and direct, like the early rhythm-n-blues (not that modern crap that stole the R-n-B designation…we’re talking about the real thing, here) and C&W records that inspired it. It’s tough. It’s angry. It’s about ass-kickin’ as a means of social justice when, “some lowdown polecat done touched yer little girl.”

Plus? I wrote the lyrics sitting on the toilet. Which has no bearing on the song itself, but its funny enough to warrant mention.

Musical Notes: Not much to say, here; the song itself is as direct as the lyrics. Open Western chords combined with rock power chords to create a Southern rock hybrid, a fun little drum beat, a bassline that does a groovy little walk during the pre-chorus (listen for it)...that about sums it up. As usual, I’m sorry about the vocals, but I’m doing this stuff alone.

THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES Lyrics
Flyin’ high, sinkin’ low, you were one step from disaster
You done your damage, wined and dined, times couldn’t get no faster
Now you’re crashin’, fading fast, you got six shares of problems
Goin’ to jail is the least of your worries, now you gotta deal with me
Call your mama and say goodbye
I’m the last thing you’ll ever see

Did you wonder, did you think, she was someone’s little girl
You didn’t figure she was daddy’s angel, his whole entire world
Stop your cryin’, stand up straight, it’s time you got what’s comin’
Goin’ to Hell is the least of your worries, first you gotta deal with me
Bend on over, kiss your ass goodbye
I’m the last thing you’ll ever see

That’s the least of your worries
The least of your worries
That’s the least of your worries
That’s the least of your worries

Words and music Copyright©2008, Mike Hall. All rights reserved; no unauthorized use is permitted.

Lyrically, I tried to say something with this one...something I thought was important enough to (brace yourselves...) sing it myself.

Yes, this is a song about environmentalism. The dinosaur in the title is a metaphor for a species whose extinction is nigh; the world-killing meteor in the second verse symbolizes the sheer magnitude of what we've done to our world. This song? It's about as literal as one can be while being entirely figurative (try wrapping your head around THAT sentence).

"Dinosaur" started out, as usual, with a bass groove. The guitar parts came to me next, then I hit upon the idea of using some background synth chords to fill out the sound. It was written and recorded in the span of less than 24 hours. Mixing it proved a challenge, as I'd get it sounding great on one set of monitors, only to find it didn't sound nearly as crisp on another. In the end, I did the only thing I could do: I settled on a mix that sounded similar across all four sets of monitors I used. Here's hoping it worked...

And now, the lyrics...

DINOSAUR

The stranger in the mirror isn’t getting any younger
I’ve devoured the whole wide world but it hasn’t satisfied my hunger
I can sense my own extinction, oblivion comes on the morrow
If I wasn’t so bewildered I’d be crushed beneath my sorrow

Cold-blooded relic of a vanishing age
Forgotten footnote at the end of the page

Time and tide erode the remnants left after our passing
No monument endures…there’s no castle everlasting
We join the dinosaurs in dust, can’t escape the ending
The sky’s ablaze, behold the light: the meteor descending

Cold-blooded relic of a vanishing age
Forgotten footnote at the end of the page
All stone crumbles…stars turn black and cold
No new life will be rising from the ashes of the old