Name:Annette Chi Yan Birthday:3/25/1987 Gender:Female
Interests:I'm interested in:
1- seeking the way of life through God
2- MUSIC - Shung kei Shung tak, David Tao, Eric Kwok, Swing, CHoosE, Chet Lam, Chris Tomlin, grasshoppers, Hocc..etc..
3- PLAYING- guitar, horn, keyboard.. Expertise:procrastinating.. that's what this site is for...
Just as I was trying to study for my psychobio exam, thoughts started going
through my mind, blocking away all the information I was trying to read
about neurotransmitters and synapses. I had this eureka moment that the
reason why I've been acting a certain way for the past few weeks is
because I was "trying"to grow up. I was wishing to become someone who's
mature, elegant and gentle, someone who stands out from the crowd. But
looking back the past few weeks, I see this grumpy, bitter, chubby
little kid who is never satisfied with what's on his plate. (it's
interesting how its a boy, not a girl) Always irritated, always
annoyed, always feeling wronged by others, there's no peace in him.
Nothing is ever good enough, whether it's something someone else
did/had or something or something he himself did. I see the little boy
whining and crying "Dad, why didn't you give me this gift, that
blessing and those talents?"
The little boy tried everything he can to
gain the approval of others, only to disappoint himself by failing his
own standards. Then he turned to others and try to put the blame on
them. "They are the ones who should something about it" "They are the
ones who needs improvement" "They are the ones who didn't reply my
email" "They are messed up"
But then, he turned to the Word and realized that HE himself has messed up.
There's nothing he can do to gain righteuosness- through the law his
sins were clearly seen. But Jesus took the blame, was seen as shameful,
was murdered on the cross because of the boy's wrongs. The little boy
was therefore declared innocent and set free. He has been loved and
always will be. There's nothing he can do to make himself more loved
than the brothers and sisters around him. If there's something we can
do to make ourselves better in God's eyes, if there's any other ways of
justifying ourselves, why would God pay such a great price to kill his
son when He can just make us do something ourselves? (Gal 2:21)
Growing up is not something we can try to do. It is a process we go
through as we experience His faithfulness. For this reason I will wait
for him.
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." - Lamentations 3:22-24
"If there's one thing we are called to do
it's to love You, to adore You"
"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near." - Phil 4:5
[References: Romans, Galatians 2, Pastor Francis Chan - sermon: Grace, Grace, Grace, Grace(www.cornerstonesimi.org)]
I am so grateful for the retreat because...
God stretched me to show me that I can so do much more than I think if I let him use all that I am - aka die to myself
God gave me the privilege to serve, esp. through my passions. Ok i'm talking about playing the keyboard
God showed me the root of all of my struggles - that is my worry for
where I'm gonna be after graduation. But he told me, through
Philippians 3:20, that my citizenship is in heaven. He has prepared a
way for my future like how he had prepared a major for me.
God healed my hurt from feeling inadequate and dishonoring him because
of my inability to evangelize effectively and being more like him. "the
Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring
everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that
they will be like his glorious body" Philippians 3:20-21
God blessed me through the praise sessions - "May You increase and may we decrease"
