Rarr. ABM. (: [Ang pangeeeet koooo.]

I'm bored. Mag quiz tayo! Hahaha.

If you're from AlphaBetaMama, scroll down for the pictures... Sorry if they're unclear and dark.  Try this: http://photos.yahoo.com/joseangelocastro/

I missed posting a public entry. :] Haaaay. I miss my old life, where everything was much simpler. When I'd be happy over shallow things. Now, I'm getting older. I look it, I feel it. Everything seems more complex, and my mind is trying in futility to understand what is happening to my old world. It's fading. I'm fading...

But the my disappearance, I think I'd rather welcome it. It's looming ahead, and rather than escape the fate that I will soon go and be part of nothingness, I'll dive into it. As the thing I read in Sab's (http://www.malkavianinwonderland.blogspot.com/) blog said, "When you find yourself sinking into madness, dive."

Today, I went to Glorietta to meet up with Anthea and Pam, who were joined by Doia and Tin. I actually only knew Anthea, and I was able to really converse with Pam [and Doia] too. We *tried* to plan the soiree, and I'm praying that things will fall into place, despite my still ongoing disagreement or whatever with my class. Somehow, I still try to do things, even if I know that most of them will only be in vain. It's not that I'm stuck with them, it's just that I think I love my class, despite the fact that they don't love me anyway. Wahaha. Drama. Oh well, not everyone can be openminded anyway. :[ I was trying to call King about what we had already planned, but then I couldn't reach him, because SUN CELLULAR is beginning to show what every telecom company has, it's FLAWS. [On the sideline, I still haven't given back Butch's phone. Haha! :)]

*Thank you to Athena for all your input sa games. :D Sana matuloooooy. Rarr. :[

Afterward, I ate lunch, then texted Gibbz (http://www.xanga.com/gbz_08) to ask if he was going to the AC fair, and since he was nearby lang, we decided to go. [Thank yoo Gibbz for the free ticket. <3 <3. HAHAHA.] We ran into Martin Hautea, who had just gotten married. Woohoo! Then, I watched Scott get married, then Franz as well. Wooooh. Everyone's getting married. Ooooh. We also saw Anton Magsaysay (http://www.xanga.com/anton_magsy) get married, except he took the other costume, not the groom one. Wahaha. The pic is in Scott's phone, I think. And Marte got married to Sasa(http://www.xanga.com/sasa_h)!!! Hahaha! :D Section pala ni Sabs yung nag-organize ng marriage booth. Hehe.

Since there people weren't flocking into the fair yet, we decided to leave for a while. We ended up in Timezone Glorietta. Only Dondon, Franz, Gibbz and I were able to go though, since Martin and Scott didn't want to leave AC. Wooooh. Nanlibre ulit si Gibbz!!! Yeah!!! *sings* HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! [Ay, may kanta bang ganun?! Wahahahaha!] Oooh. I finally got to play AirHockey again. Rarr. There was this annoying version of AirHockey which had this sinister laugh everytime someone scored. It stuck to our minds and we found ourselves returning to the laugh everytime conversations got a bit dry. Franz is fucking good in AirHockey. RARR. At least, I got to catch up! Haha!

We then hurried back to AC since I didn't want to miss Jess and Nicole play. RARR. I missed Jess. I saw sina Nicole play though, and Lemonade is great. :) So if you want to have them play anywhere [and it'll be worth it, I promise] just contact her. :) [Rarr, I lost the addy of Nicole's journal.] It was pretty dry after than then. Jess left soon after their gig, so did Nicole. :[ Nico joined us, but soon after, Scott and Martin had to leave.

After an entire year, I finally got to see some AC people again. Hehe. I didn't see Camimic though, and I left before Sponge Cola played. *boo* Hello to the AC people I saw (even if I know they won't be reading this narin. :))]... Sasa, Cata [uyyy, long time! :)], Jess [idol-rockstar], Celina [Nov. 26- oooh. Who's sweet sixteen? Wahaha.], Sabs, Marj, Denise Villaseñor, Sarah, Sam [Monzon?], Joey [Rarr, sorry kung medyo snob ako. Waaah. :(], Jess' friend [Rarr, sorry I lost your name], Bea Benavidez, Nicole Sarmiento [idol-rockstar], Pair, Anna J, Zane, Cielo, Abby, Yohannaaa [Yikee. R***O. Wahahaha!Ü] basta lahat. :) I also saw some LSGH peeps there, Torres, Jako, Carlos, Kenneth, Miggy, Justinyap (http://www.xanga.com/jfv_yap), Ej, ewaaan... basta lahat na rin. :)

We went to Chowking for dinner, and I couldn't eat. I don't know why. I don't feel like eating...even if my last meal would have been the light lunch I had. Thanks again, Gibbz, for answering for Nico's, Franz', Dondon's and my dinner. Woooh! Happy Birthday! Hahaha! When we got back to AC [with much reluctance], we went to gym, then back to the cafeteria, then back to the gym, then back to the cafeteria. Basta, naglakad kami. I was beginning to get drained by then, so I decided to go home.

A certain ocassion happened when someone was excessively assuming with people's intent. Rarr. Whatever. Not everyone has an open mind, so I'll just let it go, after all, I can't do anything. Ugh, gago ka. Putangina ka. ;b ... I just took a cab home, only to find out that noone was home. So I stayed at our gate, spending a considerable amount of time in one corner...smoking my ass off. Rarr. [Obviously, what that asshole did bothered me...pero bahala na siya. Can't please everyone anyway.]

Yesterday, I went to the AC fair, but I spent less than an hour there. Didn't really know anyone except the birthday girl, Celine (http://www.myorangelife.blogspot.com/), so I left when she left soon after. Oh yeah, hello to Cel's CSA friends. :) [Rarrrr. Yung yearbooook!] :[ Since I didn't know anyone in the fair, I left soon after I got there, and I went to Katipunan to pick up MamaMelaaaa (http://www.melapot.rocks.it/). Then, a (funny thing happened, since we were going to pick up Klar from her place. She specifically said, "Hanapin niyo yung pulang kotse, matanda na yun pero di amin. There's a blue house there." Wahahaha! Mela and I found the car, and a blue house too, so we started shouting Klar [cause we didn't want to ring the doorbell, we weren't sure it was her house.] Just then, someone from behind us walked into the house. OH NO. F*CK. WAAAH. We were looking for Klar in the wrong house, and people were looking at us. HAHAHA. Kakahiyaaaa. Wahehehe. :D So, while Mela was trying to reach Klar, I went down the street looking for more old red cars with blue houses. I ran into another one, and I asked if someone named Klar lived there. Waaah. Wrong house again. Then, Klar calls me and tells me that she and Mela had found each other na. I was all the way down the street already. LOL. So, I had to walk back... waaaah. It was so funneeeee. :))

We went to the ABM Party-Birthday Party [Mars (http://www.livejournal.com/~marstheguitaro6) and Quino (http://www.livejournal.com/~mynameisquino)] :) I looooove ABM people. :D Much <3 for Quaren (http://www.livejournal.com/~peanutbuttercup), Kino, Mars, Gio (http://www.xanga.com/giotistic), Lyka (http://www.livejournal.com/~lykaaaa), Rosh, Janini, Diego (http://www.digitalbath06.tk/), Marben (http://marben.port5.com/), Ace (http://www.xanga.com/musicallyliterate), Mela, Klar, Samsam beshtot (http://www.xanga.com/samsam_macy08), Aebbey (http://www.xanga.com/da_gurl4u), Shinji (http://www.xanga.com/shinji_69), Jasams, Pael, Gerard, Banez (http://www.nastybanez.tk), Rico, ... errr, whom did I miss? Sorry! :[

Oooh. Someone get me a Rubik's Cube. I want I want! Wahahaha!Ü

Wooh! It's Klaaar... I think this was taken while we were watching Mela with the cube. :D

Rarr. We added a lot [well, our names din naman, pero paulit-ulit. :D] to this...isshocool.

Marben and Tracy on the shweeeeng.

And Roshan and Diego on the other shweeeng.

One of the AlphaGroupPics (Lyka, Quino, Diego, Samsam, Gio, Aebbey, Shinji)

Papaparmeeto.

Another group pic

LykaQuino

Giotistic wooh! Gwapooo! HAHAHA!

Jasams, cousin of Quino and Karen.

Wooh. Mr. Pogi contestant!!!

Traaaacy! :D

Maaaars pogiiii!

Klaaaar ulet. Hehe! :D

Melaaaaapots and her Rubik's Cube. :)

Aebbeyyy Mamsheee.

Paeeeeeel. The muse of ABM. :D Wahehe! :D

It's Diegoooo. Fabian. Fabie. Mikee. Mickey. LOL. :D

Jaaaan sexaaaaaay.

Mr. Pogi ulit. Wahehe :D

Traccccyyy!

By far, this is the cutest pic. Can anyone guess whose shoes those are? :D

Si Jasams pagod na. Hehee.

LykaQuino again. And I think si Tracy too :D

KarenMars! And Pael as well. :) well. Part of him-her. errr. :P

Pael on Mars' shoulders and Karen on Mars seat. :D

Melaaaa!

Si Aebbey parang nasaniban na. Wahehe :D

Mahaygahleeh. Something's bothering Klaaar. :D

Geraaaaaaaaaaaardooooooo and Paeeel. Yikeee. <3 HAHAHA! :))

Geraaaaardoooooo!

Signing our names over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over... rarr. You get the picture. Heeeheee. :)

Quinooo the birthday boy trying to blow the candles.

Happy Birthday Quino! *clap*clap*clap*

Oooh. It's the almost-complete version. Is that the Pythagorean theorem?! WTF?!

Point at your nick please. :D

Point me in the right direction

Klar, agen. :)

Mami Melaaaaaaaaa

Symbol of ABM love. Karen and Mela in a hug. >:D<

 THE LOUSY [but VAIN] photographer. :D

*EDIIIIIIT. POTANGINA NAKAGAT AKO NG CENTIPEDE. !@#$%^&*()

Rarrr. Sometimes, I just wish we could knock those popular stereotypes off their high throne. I want to see how strong they are when they deal with rejection. I bet most aren't. Ergh. It must feel great, huh? Being perfect and all? Oh well. That doesn't f*cking justify why you can put others down. Mamatay ka naaa. Tangina ka gagooo. !#$%^&*() One day, I hope you get a taste of your own medicine.

ugh. i am so fucking drained from all this shit. school sucks. my grades are quite low for the second quarter. actually, they're really low. pota. and i'm still finding it hard to concentrate on the same thing for a very long time.

some things just hit me. i know that 20, maybe even 10 years from now, if i am still alive, i'll look back on you and remember you as one of the things that seemed to add more color to my life. though you may have brought in more bloody red color than i expected, you added your own special touch to it. and i know in ten or twenty years, i'll be over you. i'll no longer be jaded. i'll no longer be the window shattered by the baseball when the player hit a homerun and the ball went flying out the field. ok, that did not make sense to anyone but me.

i finished *almost* everything i need for tomorrow, and i don't care that much about tomorrow. let the tides come, the sea's unrelenting push and pull on its own borders with the shore cannot be stopped anyway. drown me in it. [or have i been drowning in that sea for longer than i know?] oh well. i can't give anyone but vague ideas of what i'm feeling...after all, that IS what i'm feeling. vague. ambiguous. unclear. something that i cannot fathom, moreover can she nor any other surmise anything about.

di na ako umaasa pa. pero hindi ko pa rin gaanong katanggap ang mapait na katotohanan. siguro, balang araw, may isa ring darating sa buhay ko, tulad ng pagdating mo sa buhay niya. sana, sa araw na iyon, wala nang maging kumplikasyon tulad ko. alam ko namang naging problema ako sa iyo eh. dagdag pa sa napakaraming mga problema. kaya ako humingi ng paumanhin sayo. tsss...drama. pero totoo eh.

i wonder what i should do now? i'll try to not think of you for the next few weeks... i mean, maybe, when you reenter my life somehow, you won't affect me as you returned just lately. it will be hard. but i don't care. all i know is that it's one of the inevitabilities i'll have to overcome to grow up and grow out of this stage where everything i feel is magnified ten times by stress, society and shit and other whatnot floating in my head. wow. another sss.

here i am, asking the same questions again. the same questions i have asked, yet i know i will not receive the answers to. sitting here in front of this screen is close to driving me mad, but i'll be fine. i have been, well, almost fine at least, for the past month...or year. i can cope up. i've got a few close but great friends around me whom i know will be there for me no matter what. not like some people who'd choose to leave you halfway into the dark woods.

i can't blame them anyway. =x

that still leaves me with not a lot to get by...will i get by? i don't think so. i just hope so.

there's one good thing. i feel too drained to let out angst, let alone sorrow...i just feel, emotionless now... i know it sounds weird, after all, i just did blog something out there out of excessive emotion for you, but then, there's a strange serenity in me, some kind of reassurance that one day things will be fine... even if it's just a tinge of hope, it stands out on the sea of hopelessness. i wish i could be in a prolonged state of this emotionlessness. sure, life will lack color, but then my life has had too much emotion, particularly, sorrow, for me to bear...i'd rather be numb to all this. yeah, that's the word. numb.
strange.
oh well. better end this lament. i've got classes tomorrow.

+lost in you.\somehow...